Forgiveness can heal you, so practice these 3 ways to forgive and forget
By NCVC Staff | Published on Sep 23, 2023
Forgiving someone for hurting you is not an easy task. Are you able to take the hurt that you have experienced and turn it into something positive? When it comes to deciding whether to forgive someone, there are many aspects to think about. Are you making the decision to forgive them for them or for yourself? Think about the pros and cons.
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Does it help you to hold on to past hurt and pain? The difficult decision to forgive someone is extremely powerful and can be to your own benefit. It’s important to let go of the anger, resentment and regret that comes from the hurt in order to experience true peace in your life.
It is easy to be consumed by bitterness and revenge when someone who is especially close to you hurts you, either physically or emotionally. However, if you are truly planning on moving on with your life, it’s important that you forgive the person who hurt you.
The ability to forgive helps in your healing process
Being able to let go of pain opens the door to new possibilities and new relationships. I strongly believe that the act of forgiving someone who betrayed you or hurt you is one of the most selfless gestures you can think of, it Learning to let go and move forward with your life is one of the most valuable life skills you can have.
Here are 3 ways to forgive someone who has hurt you:
1. Don’t worry, the act remains unacceptable
Remember that just because you have chosen to forgive someone who has wronged you does not make the hurt that they imposed on you acceptable. It is okay to feel angry, to feel shattered and to feel betrayed. Your feelings are 100 percent valid. Emotions are neither right nor wrong, they simply exist. Being able to forgive someone makes you the bigger person and allows you to take control of your life and set boundaries for yourself. These boundaries are important because it will set the bar for what you are willing to accept in your future. You are allowed to say ‘I have forgiven you but I will not accept this behaviour ever again’.
2. Find the bright side
What are the advantages and disadvantages of forgiving someone? Think about it. It might help to physically sit down, grab a pen and jot down your ideas. To be able to see a physical list of pros and cons will help you to find the best reasons you should forgive someone for hurting you or causing you pain. Find the bright side, it might be easy to say, “I forgive you,” in reality but it takes a lot more than that. Try hard to find a positive outlook on forgiveness. It doesn’t happen overnight but with time, perhaps even with the help of professionals, your decision will be to your own benefit.
3. Practice self-love
Take some time out for some me-time. Do things that make you happy. Being able to practice self-love will provide you with the much needed time to think about what is best for you, why you should forgive others and to do it in your own time. Go for a long walk, take deep breaths, perhaps try to pen your thoughts in a journal or take some time to make a cozy, warm, homemade meal. It is important to consider that a big part of loving yourself is owning who you are and accepting how you feel. Take the time to figure this out so that you can realise your true value. Understand yourself first with time and then you will be able to understand the other person and why they did what they did to hurt you. When we take the time out to accept, love, and forgive ourselves, we can do the same for others as well.
Remember, forgiveness for others starts with forgiving yourself for trusting them. You cannot control whether someone hurts you but you can control whether to forgive them.