Finding happiness after divorce is in your hands! Here’s how to move on
By NCVC Staff | Published on Sep 22, 2023
Divorce is a tumultuous journey that can leave you feeling emotionally drained, especially after investing so much time in a relationship. Adjusting to life without your partner can be challenging, and you may find yourself wondering how to find happiness again. The good news is that a happier life after divorce is entirely possible! Just because you are single now doesn’t mean that the doors leading to happiness are closed. In this article, we will explore how you can reclaim your life and find happiness after a divorce.
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Embracing the Emotional Rollercoaster
Moving on after a divorce is a unique experience for everyone. The internal workings of a marriage are complex and impossible to fully understand from the outside. People go through different phases of grief and sorrow. The length of time it takes for a woman to move on after a divorce varies. According to clinical psychologist Aishwarya Raj, the emotional acuity typically peaks in the first six months after separation. However, the mourning process can take up to two years.
Steps to Moving On
1. Allow Yourself to Grieve
Even if you initiated the divorce, it’s normal to mourn the life and way of living that you’ve lost. Give yourself permission to cry and process your emotions. It typically takes around half as long as the duration of your relationship to fully mourn the loss. Allow yourself to let go gradually, as healing takes time.
2. Be Kind to Yourself
It’s essential to keep things in perspective when dealing with the aftermath of a divorce. If you’re feeling guilty or ashamed about the end of your marriage, remember that it takes two people to start and end a relationship. Treat yourself with kindness and forgiveness. Don’t let negative self-talk weigh you down.
3. Lean on Your Support System
During this challenging time, lean on your close family and friends for emotional support. Talking about how you feel with loved ones can be cathartic. Surrounding yourself with people who care about you will help keep you grounded and provide a sense of stability during the transition.
4. Embrace Your Singlehood
Emerging from the gloom of divorce is a cause for celebration. Take the opportunity to embrace your singlehood. Consider going on a trip with your girlfriends, your children, or even solo. Solo travel can be liberating and allow you to reflect on your newfound independence. Remember, divorce is not the end, but a new beginning.
5. Take Control of Your Finances
Educate yourself about financial matters, even if you relied on your partner for handling them during the marriage. Managing your finances well is crucial to regaining a sense of control in your life. Seek advice from professionals if needed to ensure you’re making informed decisions.
6. Rebuild Your Identity
Losing a partner can leave you questioning your identity, particularly if you’ve been part of a couple for a long time. It’s time to reconnect with your true self. Start by making a list of your positive traits and the qualities that define you outside of your role as a wife or partner. Reflect on what makes you unique and the aspects of yourself that you value. This exercise will help you embrace the next chapter in your life with confidence.
7. Create a Wish List
Divorce may leave a void, but it also presents an opportunity to resurrect old passions and pursue new ones. Take this time to focus on yourself and think about what you want to accomplish in life. Women who have gone through divorce often go on to lead successful lives, pursuing careers, traveling, renovating their homes, and continuing their education.
8. Avoid Arguments with Your Ex
Breaking long-standing patterns can be challenging, especially when it comes to arguing with your ex-spouse. Remember that confrontation is unlikely to be beneficial for either of you at this stage. Take deep breaths, remove yourself from the situation when necessary, and don’t allow your ex to create further turmoil in your life.
9. Recognize the Difference between Grief and Depression
Grief can feel overwhelming after a breakup, but over time, the pain begins to fade, and you start moving forward gradually. However, if you find yourself stuck and unable to progress, you may be experiencing depression. It’s crucial to be aware of your mental health and seek professional help if needed.
10. Seek Guidance from Experts
Friends can offer invaluable support during this challenging time, but speaking with a therapist or mentor can provide valuable guidance on how to start afresh. Therapy can help you identify and change negative thought patterns, enabling you to handle your divorce with grace and newfound insight. Working with the right therapist can empower you to navigate your new life successfully.
Remember, finding happiness after divorce is a personal journey that takes time and self-reflection. Embrace the opportunity for growth, and know that you have the power to create a fulfilling and joyful life beyond your marriage.