Always seeking validation from others? 5 ways to stop and take control of your life
By NCVC Staff | Published on Sep 20, 2023
We all find ourselves constantly sharing updates about our lives on social media. But have you ever stopped to think why we do this? The answer is simple – we crave the validation and appreciation we receive from others. It boosts our confidence and satisfies our ego.
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It’s natural to seek some validation from the people around us, and in certain situations, it can even be healthy. However, the problem arises when we start relying on others to make decisions about our own lives.
If you find yourself constantly seeking validation, you’ll never feel truly confident in your choices. You’ll always be searching for someone to give you the green light on things that affect your life.
Why do we seek validation from others?
According to Dr. Rahul Khemani, a psychiatrist from Wockhardt Hospital in Mumbai, there are two key reasons why people seek validation:
Family and environment: People who grow up in a strict environment, where decisions are made for them by parents or guardians, tend to seek validation constantly. They never get the chance to learn from their own mistakes.
Anxiety: Anxiety often stems from fear. This is especially true in high-pressure workplaces, where the fear of making a mistake can be paralyzing. The need for someone to validate your work before you submit it can erode your confidence. In Dr. Khemani’s opinion, this is a major roadblock professionally.
Here are five ways to break free from the need for validation:
Trust yourself: Whenever you’re in doubt, imagine that the problem is someone else’s and think about the advice you would give them. Apply that same advice to yourself. This will boost your confidence and help you develop trust in your own judgment.
Stop comparing yourself to others: Not everyone is a great decision-maker, and nobody is flawless. Learn from your mistakes and don’t be afraid to make them.
Be mindful of your actions: Every action has consequences. Evaluate the pros and cons of the decisions you make. This will improve your decision-making skills and reduce the need for validation from others.
Practice self-love: Believe in yourself and accept your flaws. Work on improving your skills, but don’t be too hard on yourself if it takes time. Remember, personal growth is a journey.
Don’t measure your worth by social media likes: Social media can be like a bubble. People often only share the best parts of their lives and don’t reveal their struggles. Enjoy social media, but don’t let it dictate your self-worth.
Seeking advice is not inherently wrong, but reaching a point where you depend on others to make your own decisions is detrimental to your growth and independence. Embrace your own capabilities, trust your instincts, and take control of your life.